For those of you that follow the music I make, hang with me on twitch, or anywhere else, you know the main message I try to convey is positivity, and happiness.
What a lot of people don't know is I suffer from severe anxiety issues. Lately it's been more in control of my life than I have. Things start to build up, and weigh down on me as well as many others. A thing a lot of us in this situation have in common is we tend to keep it down inside until it explodes out of us in fear, confusion, and overall frustration.
Lately I feel like I'm just a pain to be around. I can't stay focused, enjoy things I usually enjoy, and I completely feel I need to apologize just for dealing with things aren't even in my control.
This is my way of finally being open and saying that I'm not okay, and that's okay.
I enjoy my alone time, but I'm also so very thankful for the loving and caring people in my life. Especially the one's I see more often than not. I honestly have no idea how my wonderful girlfriend has been able to put up with me lately, but she's been there the whole time, and it only makes me love her more.
I'm not a special singularity in this. Others around you have their own struggles, problems they aren't seeking help for, and seem to become more and more isolated as time progresses.
So I wanted to put this out there to let you know that I'll be taking some time to not put so much pressure on myself. To give myself, if anything, a mental break. I get so caught up in creating as much as I can, over working myself in my career, and stressing over numbers/relevance/funds/and more. This has led to me spending my time working and worrying so much I forget to live my life, enjoy time with friends and family, and remember to take a deep breath and relax every once in a while.
If there is anyone you know that seems to have stopped coming around so much, shoot them a text. Let them know you're thinking about them. The best way to help someone in need is to let them know they aren't forgotten. It's easy to get lost in your thoughts, and feel like you've been lost from everyone else's life.
I'm going to be working on myself to get better. Any of you that are reading this can do the same, and I know as a collective we can learn to overcome these problems we face in our day to day life.
Spread positivity. Love others. Love yourself.
Kyle (BuhDihKuh) Arneson